Happy New Year!

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One of my top New Year’s resolutions is to start blogging here on my lifestyle blog more regularly again. I used to be better about it when I only had one little guy, but since becoming a mom of two energetic little boys, this blog has definitely been one of the things that has gotten pushed to the back burner. Which is sad since it is something I really enjoy, and my favorite way to document the changes in our family, our home and our garden!

So I am back with a new plan, and determined to stick to it this year. 🙂 Here are some of my other resolutions this year….

1. Take more selfies and more self-portraits with me and my boys! I used to do a ton of self-portraits with our older son and me, and then in the past year I started to have some changes in my appearance that made me self-conscious and I pretty much stopped taking photos of myself. As a professional photographer who emphasizes the beauty of capturing motherhood, it’s actually been highly embarrassing! So what happened exactly?

I’ve been having problems with my sinuses and severe allergies ever since we moved into this house and started our endless list of construction and remodeling projects. A large bump started growing inside my nose around the time my husband opened up our kitchen, and then had to leave it open for several months while he went out of town to deal with other issues. So in the meantime, I was home with attic dust streaming in for several months and my dust allergies were out of control (I was also pregnant at the time which didn’t help). I had seen several ENT’s about the bump and none were able to help me with it.

Then this past year it started getting even worse, to the point where my nose was constantly painful and started completely visibly deforming. Every time I looked in the mirror, I felt like I was looking at a stranger. I have barely been able to sleep for the past year since I was getting so little air through my nose. I finally went to see a more specialized surgeon, who had a better idea of what was going wrong. He told me that my sinuses had collapsed shut, 0% air on one side and less than 30% on the other side. As a result of the collapse, they had pushed down around the cartilage, causing the bumps and deformation. So we scheduled surgery for just after Christmas this year.

I am currently recovering from the surgery and in a lot of pain, but I am so happy that I was able to find a doctor who knew how to handle the situation. I am looking forward to being able to sleep without waking up grasping for air. I am also really excited that my nose should hopefully be looking a lot better, more like normal again. 🙂

My older son LOVES snapchat. He made me install it on my phone (he’s played with it with my sister and his babysitter). He said it makes him so happy when we do snaps together. So, I have been getting started on my resolution already about getting in more photos with my boys. 🙂 With my bandages, bruising and all…here we are! Having fun cuddling with my sweet boys while I recover!

2. I’m going to do more work that makes me happy, and less of the work that stresses me out. 🙂 I’m not going to go into all of the details here, but I will be making some changes for my photography business this year and I am excited about it. 🙂

3. Get on a regular system and schedule with our garden maintenance, and actually schedule it into my work calendar! My garden is such an important aspect of my business, and I often try to cram in gardening tasks whenever I have a bit of free time, and that leads to a very stressed out mom. We are going to be making some serious changes with that routine going forward!

4. Get more of our projects finished on our house! Certain projects have been dragging on forever around here, mostly because we never have any free time to get them completed. With my husband working outside the home Monday through Friday, and I have spent the majority of my weekend time working this past year with photo sessions, it hasn’t led to enough family time and not enough time for us to finish the personal projects we want to complete. I’ve been saying it for years but this time I mean it…I’m going to seriously start cutting down on weekend photo sessions! We also seriously need some fun time as a family all together! 🙂

5. Most importantly…be more mentally and emotionally present for my family. 🙂 I feel like I have been spreading myself too thin for a while and it just leaves me zapped of energy all the time. I have been working on finding ways to delegate certain tasks for my business so I am not so wiped out all of the time, and that has been helping already.

I am excited about the changes I have planned for the new year! 🙂 Thanks for reading and joining me on my journey to a better year!

Why I Will Be Significantly Cutting Back My Work Hours

A couple of weeks ago, I did a post where I logged one of my days, minute by minute. Just being a mom is a lot of work. Trying to juggle running a business full time and taking care of a baby and four furry kids as well is a lot to handle every day and I am running myself down in the process.

Previously, I have felt like I have been failing with the photography business because I wasn’t meeting certain arbitrary goals, or booking as many clients as some other photographers on a regular basis. Then I had a couple of weeks where I met my “goal” number of sessions per week and I realized something…it was way too much for me. Some people may be able to handle shooting that much and that often, but I cannot for so many reasons. The main reason, I was in too much physical pain with my limited mobility to handle shooting that often. Second, I am not a photographer who runs a quick couple of presets on my photos and burns them on a CD. Each image I produce gets hand processed to perfection. When I overwhelm myself with shooting too much, that also means that I will be spending hours upon hours editing photos, which is a lot of time away from my family. At the end of E’s first year, the thing I regret most is how little time we have spent together as a family. It really makes me sad. I am tired of doing the baby transfer once my husband gets home so I can rush into my office and spend hours in there alone. Things are going to be very different around here going forward.

I felt like I kept looking at so many other photographers and thinking wow…if they can shoot so many sessions per week, plus keep up with a blog, homeschool their kids, and grow all of their own veggies, etc. what am I doing wrong that I can’t seem to manage my time better? Then I realized that everyone’s circumstances are totally different, and I am so over trying to work at goals for myself based on what other people are or are not doing. It is a really dumb way to set goals.  My husband works long hours most days, and is usually exhausted by the time he gets home.  I feel bad that I have put so much stress on him to help me with things when he does get home, and it is time to make things easier on all of us.

I also realized when looking around my office today that while I have spent a lot of time photographing our baby E, I have spent more time photographing other people’s pets than our own in the past year, which makes me feel so sad. Our poor furry kids are often too shaggy and dirty to be photo ready, so they have been left out on many occasions. I am going to work on putting my own family first, and make more of an effort to do the photos that I want to take for our own use…like more of our furry kids each individually, and more of E with his “siblings” (and Instagram pictures do not count). I am going to start putting in bath time/nail clipping/hair cut time for the pets in my calendar and treating it like any other appointment that I have to keep. I have also promised Ed more park/play time and less Mommy working on the computer time. 🙂

So if you are one of my photo clients and reading this and curious how this may affect you, here is what will be changing. I will be booking less per month, which means some of the session fees have gone up slightly. When I say I am fully booked for a month, it means I am fully booked…whether or not I have days without appointments. Instead of promising that photos will be ready in 1-2 weeks, processing time is going to be extended. Saturdays are premium sessions only, any upgrades to standard sessions come at an additional cost, and Sundays are not available for anyone, ever. We are also thinking about cutting out seasonal mini sessions in the future, but we are undecided on that at the moment. I am really sad that I feel like I was so stressed out and overworked this past holiday season. I am going to make more of an effort to be an emotionally present wife and mother.

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Why I Didn’t Have Time to Pick Up More Cat Food….

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My husband understands that I have my hands full every day with taking care of our son full time and managing the photography business full time as well. What he doesn’t quite get is how literally every minute of my day is filled. He often comes home and asks why I didn’t have time to go run a particular errand, like picking up more dog or cat food. We have two dogs and two cats, so when we get more food, we get the biggest bag they have available, which I cannot lift on my own. He often encourages me to find an employee to help me, but I often feel like retail employees are usually around when you don’t want help, and no where to be found when you are in a hurry and need help. I simply do not have the time to wander around the pet store, trying to find someone to help me lift a bag of food into my cart. So, to prove a point to him about why it is much easier if he just stops off at the pet store on the way home from work, I decided to log an entire day, noting everything I did all day.

As a full time business owner, and work from home mom, there is not exactly a “typical day” for me. Some days are busier than others. Some days are more difficult than others. Some days the baby refuses to nap and I actually would prefer sitting in bumper to bumper traffic since at least that would probably get him to take a nap. The day I logged happened to be one of my busier days. Most days there is a lot more time spent chasing our baby around the house, playing with him in his room, and trying to convince him to take a nap. This day however, was a different sort of day.

I don’t always juggle watching E and working with clients at the same time, but sometimes I have to do it. I always make sure someone is available to babysit him when I have a newborn session scheduled, or a session with a new client. Other times, for short appointments, I will occasionally juggle watching E and working with my clients since our accountant mentioned that I cannot deduct babysitter expenses as a business expense (such a lame tax rule). Circus jugglers have nothing compared to my skills these days.

6:30 a.m. Get woken up by baby for morning milk. Breastfeed him and try to go back to sleep for a bit.
7:00 a.m. Give up on trying to sleep, say morning prayers, then grab phone and start scanning through emails and blog comments. Start responding to as many as possible.
7:30 a.m. Let dogs outside in the backyard, and put each pet’s flea medicine in their bowl with their breakfast.
7:45 a.m. Let the dogs back inside and go back to bed for a few minutes to respond to more emails.
8:00 a.m. Start a load of laundry.
8:20 a.m. Add additional baby proofing gadgets to my office.
8:30 a.m. Clean guest bathroom in my office. Start cleaning our bathroom also.
8:40 a.m. Hear baby wake up earlier than usual, and beg husband to watch him for a few minutes so I can actually finish cleaning both bathrooms.
8:55 a.m. Wash hands, heat up some oatmeal for breakfast for myself and baby.
9:00 a.m. Clean highchair. Sit down with baby to eat breakfast.
9:10 a.m. Unload clean dishes from dishwasher.
9:21 a.m. Stop fight between our toy poodle and male cat.
9:24 a.m. Load new round of dirty dishes in dishwasher.
9:27 a.m. Stare at emails for a bit (writer’s block on some responses). Respond to more emails.
9:29 a.m. Wash baby’s hands.
9:30 a.m. Inspect washing machine to see if it is broken or demon possessed (not really of course) based on the strange noises it suddenly started making. Determine that there doesn’t appear to be anything immediately wrong with it.
9:31 a.m. Change baby’s diaper and clothes.
9:33 a.m. Tidy up my office.
9:40 a.m. Have a conversation with baby E about how he keeps throwing my paint brushes all over my office.
9:49 a.m. E makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like “damnit”. Make a note to discuss language with my husband.
9:52 a.m. Prep shower/bath for baby and me.
9:55 a.m. Pick up all of my makeup that E has thrown all over the bathroom. Find missing Nemo bath toy and feel like a hero.
9:56 a.m. Simultaneous shower for me and bath for baby.
10:05 a.m. Brush my teeth and baby’s teeth. Multitasking at its finest.
10:10 a.m. Milk time for E.
10:20 a.m. Get us both dressed.
10:25 a.m. Prep camera for morning appointment.
10:27 a.m. Unwrap box of prints that arrived from photo lab.
10:30 a.m. Meet with clients for mini session. Simultaneously entertaining E in the room with his own toys, while keeping him out of the picture.
11:20 a.m. Clients leave, and I turn on my computer, hoping to get a bit of work done.
11:21 a.m. Give up and turn computer off.
11:22 a.m. Check vacuum robot to see why it is sending out a distress call.
11:25 a.m. My dad happens to be in the area today, and has some time to kill between doctor’s appointments. He comes by to visit with E. This is not part of our usual routine, so an extra set of hands to help out was a huge relief!
11:26 a.m. Spend a bit of time playing with the dogs, feeling sad that I can’t take them on long hikes the way I used to do before my pregnancy injuries.
11:35 a.m. Milk for E.
11:40 a.m. Package print order for client and send email.
11:43 a.m. Prep paperwork to mail to DMV, applying for temporary handicapped placard.
11:44 a.m. Gather together everything I need to go run a few errands.
11:45 a.m. Check robot distress call again, then leave for grocery store and post office.
12:25 p.m. Get home, try to convince dogs to pee. They are protesting since our patio was flooded from previous rain.
12:26 p.m. Untangle vacuum robot from its latest adventure.
12:27 p.m. Put away groceries and start heating up lunch.
12:32 p.m. Give up on robot and put it away. Milk and diaper change for E.
12:37 p.m. Clean highchair and feed E lunch.
12:45 p.m. Remember laundry needs to be moved to dryer.
12:46 p.m. Finish putting away groceries.
12:50 p.m. Dad leaves.
12:51 p.m. Eat lunch while checking phone for texts/emails/etc.
12:58 p.m. Update social media.
1:02 p.m. Feed pets lunch.
1:07 p.m. More milk for E while responding to emails. E falls asleep for nap.
1:36 p.m. Water house plants.
1:56 p.m. Say a brief prayer of thanksgiving for the rain the day before, which allowed me to skip watering the plants outside this morning. Realize that the rain and my dad’s unexpected visit helped free up a few minutes for me. Decide to take a nap for once. Set an alarm to wake me up in 15 minutes.
2:11 p.m. Wake up, return missed calls and texts.
2:40 p.m. Notice that our toy poodle ate 100+ pound dog’s flea medicine. Call vet for advice.
2:45 p.m. Look for female cat while on hold since I haven’t seen her yet all day and am starting to get really worried.
3:03 p.m. Get advice to prepare for lots of doggy barf (the following day was spent cleaning up little dog’s throw up all day long).
3:05 p.m. Google how to hack shower bubbles spray cleaner and Swiffer wet jet mop (want to replace with my plant based Method sprays).
3:15 p.m. Find success with hacking Shower Bubbles but not Swiffer.
3:17 p.m. Mop living room with un-hacked Swiffer and a bottle of spray cleaner.
3:26 p.m. Put away house plants that I watered.
3:40 p.m. Find Pearl and spend some time playing with her with her favorite toy.
3:52 p.m. Attempt to clear off some of the stuff on the tables in the living room.
4:00 p.m. Try to start another load of laundry, but then E wakes up. Give up on laundry.
4:01 p.m. Diaper change.
4:02 p.m. Afternoon client arrives for mini session, and juggling act resumes with E in my office.
4:30 p.m. E has play time with client/friend’s baby.
5:30 p.m. Clean up little dog’s poop in the living room.
5:35 p.m. Wrestle with E, trying to force a clothing change.
5:40 p.m. Drive to Whole Foods to pick up sample bottle of wine for blog post.
6:00 p.m. Return phone call for potential client while standing around outside Whole Foods.
6:10 p.m. Pick out wine.
6:30 p.m. Get home. Milk for E.
6:40 p.m.-8:00 p.m. Blur of prepping dinner, eating, cleaning up after dinner, taking photos for blog post, writing blog post, responding to more emails.
8:00 p.m. Spend some time playing with one of the cats.
8:15 p.m. Start working on photo editing while husband gets baby ready for bed.
9:00 p.m. Say goodnight to husband and baby. Go back to office and continue working.
11:00 p.m. Milk for E.
11:15 p.m. Go back to office and continue working.
2:00 a.m. Realize it is my bed time, and even though I am no where near caught up, I need to get at least a couple of hours of sleep because the game starts all over again in just a few short hours.

So…if you are an old friend and are wondering why you haven’t heard from me in a while, this is why. This is my life now. 🙂

Working on this post was an eye-opening experience for both my husband and me. It made us realize that I cannot keep up this pace nor is it worthwhile to us. I am going to be making some pretty serious adjustments to the way I handle this photography business going forward. There is one aspect of our son’s personality that drives me crazy: he runs himself ragged, refusing to rest until he is cranky and hysterical. I realized I have been doing the exact same thing to myself with this business. I have been tired, cranky, angry, working too hard and still not meeting my goals. I’m going to shoot less, enforce my policies 100% of the time going forward, and have price increases on certain things. It is the only way I will be able to continue at all.

As a side note…I have been trying to get a picture of all 5 of our crazy kids together for a while. The most difficult part is the fact that one cat is still afraid of E. The crazy photo above is the closest I’ve gotten so far, and you can’t even see most of their faces. 🙂 They are a wild bunch.